Birthday Boy

Hello!

Well, tomorrow is my birthday - HOORAY! I still get a little bit excited around birthdays, like some kind of demented school kid. Even the fact that I turn 29 tomorrow, and am entering my final year as a twenty-something, can dampen my spirits.

Now onto business: here is what I want for my birthday. PAY ATTENTION:

1. A new computer, one that is capable of running more than one program at once without throwing a hissy fit and shutting itself done. I'd get so much more work done, y'know.

2. A DeLorean, with full time-travel capabilities.

3. Every single Spider-Man comic ever made.

4. And Stan Lee to come round my house and read them to me, with his warm, friendly voice.

5. A naked lady in a birthday cake (cake optional).

6. A Carrotty Kid or Lord Likely TV series. Or both, ideally.

7. Full-time work as a Ghostbuster.

8. A lifetime's supply of Coconut Macaroons.

9. Freddie Mercury to resurrect himself from the dead, and sing at my birthday party.

11. The number 10 (my old one broke).

12. A naked lady in a big bowl of jelly (jelly optional).

13. A jet pack.

14. And a crash helmet (safety first, kids!)

15. A ride on a dinosaur.

16. A naked lady covered in ice cream (ice cream optional).

17. A 21-gun salute.

18. Nah, forget that. A 22-gun salute.

19. I dunno...world peace, or something, I guess.

20. A naked lady.

So, there you go. Get shopping!

In the meantime, here is my gift to you: The Best Bit of the Internet, a compendium of crap that I've created and crammed onto computers worldwide. Enjoy it!

Bye now!

- Fanton.